Why can’t I be English?
Moose
January 15, 2022
Disclaimer: If you are easily offended leave this site NOW!
Disclaimer: If you are easily offended leave this site NOW!
Welcome to the chaotic brain dump of Moose Almighty – a majestic beast of opinion and wild tangents. Basically, a refined collection of deep thoughts, impulsive ramblings, and philosophical masterpieces fuelled almost entirely by mood swings and alcohol. In other words, if Hemingway was a moose with internet access.
Now, let’s get something clear from the start. Some of the content here is going to ruffle feathers. Sometimes intentionally. If it makes you think – that’s great. If it makes you angry – that’s even better. Say something.
We absolutely love comments – good ones, weird ones, even slightly unhinged ones. Engagement is the name of the game.
Please Note: If your comment comes from the deep, dark abyss of ‘Wank Puffin Island’, it will be deleted faster than you can say “I wonder what Greta is up to this week?” But, if your comment is clever, helpful, or makes us snort coffee out of our nose, it’ll be proudly displayed for the world to see – and we might even throw some quality banter your way in return.
We are always on the hunt for guest contributors. If you’ve got an article, photo, or even just a random thought that didn’t come from the land of ‘Wokey Jack (or Jill) McWokey’ then go to our contact page and say hello.
Final Warning
If you take yourself too seriously, lack a sense of humour, or believe being offended is some kind of superpower, this site isn’t for you. Seriously – hit the back button before your delicate sensibilities implode.
There’s a world of beige websites out there, full of inspirational quotes and soup recipes. This just isn’t one of them.
Offence is your business, not mine.
I’m a web designer, internet marketer, and full-time internet hermit. My days are spent wrestling with broken websites, decoding SEO gibberish, and suffering routine emotional breakdowns courtesy of Microsoft updates or Google deciding it hates me – again.
It was either find an outlet or start talking to the toaster.
Enter: Moose Almighty and a decent bottle of single malt whisky. Together, they form the unholy alliance that keeps me (mostly) sane and stops me from running naked into the sea screaming “404!”
Now, let’s get something straight – I’m not here to become one of those smoothie-sipping, Peloton-pedalling, inspirational quote-spouting influencers. I’m just here for a bit of mischief, mild oversharing, and to scream into the digital void like a proper adult.
Once upon a time, rugby was my stress relief. Then age, gravity, and a waistline with its own postcode stepped in. Now, the only thing I’m tackling is whether to open the whisky or the emergency whisky. Spoiler: it’s both.
Hence, this site. It’s not a lifestyle blog. It’s more of a ‘midlife crisis meets drunken insanity’ sort of situation.
Welcome to Moose Almighty. Welcome to my therapy. Enjoy the chaos.
You may notice that Chuck Norris is mentioned a fair bit on this site. There are a number of reasons for this as follows:
A Few Facts About Chuck
Use the contact form to get in touch and if you are found worthy we will add you as contributor to Moose Almighty.
WARNING – If you can’t take a joke, or if you’re a Moron who takes himself or herself far too seriously, please leave this website immediately – you won’t like it!
Please feel free to post a comment. The more comments the better.
We are always looking for guest contributors and if you have any relevant and funny articles to post please get in touch via the contact form.
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