More Facts About Chuck
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.- There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
- Chuck Norris died 20 years ago; Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
- Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
- Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
- Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke…. that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake. After three days of pain and agony, the rattlesnake died.
- Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.- Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.
- The cure for cancer is Chuck Norris’s tears. Too bad that Chuck Norris never cries.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
