Russia assumes UN Security Council presidency
Russia’s in Charge – What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
So, apparently Russia bagged the UN Security Council presidency again. Yeah, I know I’m late to this party (a month late, sue me), but for FUCK’S SAKE.
The last time they had the gavel? February 2022 — oh, just a small, casual, full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Fast-forward, and now the alleged war criminal-in-chief is essentially chairing the world’s biggest “No Fighting, Please” committee.
Makes perfect sense. I mean, what next? Putting Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of school dinners?
Confusion of the Week
Right, so Busted are back. Again. Clearly, the apocalypse wasn’t dramatic enough without them. Their old classic “Year 3000” has been troubling me, though. Remember the line: “I’ve been to the year 3000. Not much has changed, but we live underwater.”
NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED? Sorry, lads, but if we’re suddenly rocking snorkels just to get the milk in the morning, I’d say that’s a pretty fucking big shift, wouldn’t you?
And don’t even get me started on the grammar. “Lived” underwater. Past tense. Hang on – so if you came back to tell me this, does that make it your past, our future, or just one giant lyrical cock-up? WHY AM I THINKING THIS HARD ABOUT BUSTED?
Anyway, all the best to them. Hope their tour sells out. Above water, preferably.
Royal Rumbles
God Save the King, indeed. Charlie-Boy’s on the throne. Fingers crossed, he does better than the last two of the same name (spoiler: not a high bar).
And oh, Harry. The Prince of Netflix, sulking away in row three. You could almost hear the ginger steam hissing out of his ears. Straight on the blower to Meghan after: “Babe, they made me sit behind Auntie Mildred and the corgi trainer.”
Now, people are shocked when I admit I’m a Royalist. But here’s my reasoning:
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- President Margaret Thatcher.
- President Boris Johnson.
- President Nigel Farage?
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See? Case closed. I’ll take a crown over that horror show any day.
That’s enough random brain leakage for one week.
Until next time, I remain (unapologetically and probably inebriated),
Moose Almighty!
6 responses
Love having an Almighty Dump – a shining beacon of human intellect, or the Internets last gasp for sanity? It’s a toss-up, really.
The Almighty Dump – where the Internets trash takes a poetic dive, and we’re all just along for the ride, aren’t we? Made me laugh though.
A more profound pile of existential bollocks I’ve not had the displeasure of trudging through. Kudos for the laughs, Moose.
The joy of a mind unencumbered by the shackles of comprehension. Thanks for the chuckles, your confusion is my afternoon tea. Cheers!
Well, this is just the intellectual equivalent of a porta-loo. Overflowing with the same tired drivel. Pass the bleach, I’m diving in.
Oh, a bleach bath, what a novel idea! Ill make sure to stock up on drain cleaner for your next visit. Cheers, mate!