Thames Water keeps turning the Thames into Britain’s biggest floating toilet, then blames the weather while pocketing bonuses. Victorian pipes? Please. Even Stonehenge leaks less shite than these clowns.
Back in our day, we reused bottles, washed nappies by hand, and walked uphill both ways, but apparently, we didn’t care about the environment. Eco-conscious? We just lived like legends.
Saying you are English risks HR reports, awkward stares, and diversity workshops. Meanwhile, the Welsh and Scots belt out their very own National Anthems. Why isn’t there one for England?
Ten blokes, £100 worth of beer, and the British tax system in a pint glass: the rich pay for everything, the poor whinge for free, and equality is measured in warm pints.
Modern government? A dead horse Olympics. Flog, rebrand, promote it, hire consultants, spin it, throw billions, and call it innovation. Meanwhile, we scream: “Get off the bloody horse, you lunatics!”
